1. how fucking sloppy do russian separatists look compared to ISIS?

     

  2. Ahhh the Wednesday night at the Flinders Hotel slot.  She’s a tough one.  Up there with a Tuesday at X&Y, the metal slot at the bald faced stag parramatta rd or a some limp dick mixed bill at hibernian.  Those shows that make you ask "what the fuck am i doing? playing this bullshit music that everyone hates, lugging this piece of shit amplifier up and down stairs, spending hundreds of dollars on rehearsal spaces, repairs, misc bullshit like leads for a rider of 2 midstrength lagers when some bitch with an ipod makes 5 times as much as my entire band at some shit cunt warehouse party at some Uber only accessible warehouse in fucking woollahra?"

     but on you go, filled with dying passion, a martyr for your vague and fleeting craft, slowly becoming a fucking washed up alcoholic piece of shit unable to maintain a steady relationship with anyone or anything apart from your sense of duty to scattered, untenable concepts of music, writing and art

     also $5 locals come along!

     

  3. As I was leaving the cafe this morning after my usual morning hate read of the Telegraph I passed my client’s General Manager in the doorway.  “Morning Allen, I need you to sign off on some procurement documents, I’ll see you when you get back!”  I then went back to the office, went to his desk and stole all his motherfucking biros, he only had 2 - a blackie and a bluey - Kilometricos, a real piece of work Allen is, a real piece of work – all in all a successful heist, and I returned to my desk.

    When I see him get back I rush over to his desk feigning a calculated but confident enthusiasm:

    "Allen, can you sign off on this?"

    "No worries.. hang on, some bastard has stolen me pens!”

    "Oh don’t ya hate that? Here, use mine!"

    I generously thrust forth a pen - he is thankful, but then resists, for I have handed him what looks like a red pen, and we all know how taboo the red pen is for signatory duties.

    ”..Oh.. don’t worry!  It’s actually a black pen - here’s a tip - I take out the black ink strip from another pen and place it in a red pen casing, that way people don’t steal your pens! I mean, who would steal a red pen? You should give it a try, here, keep this one!” I say, with a cheeky grin.

     The look of pride in that bald motherfucker’s face when he realised he had myself; an enthusiastic, friendly and innovative young man working for him, boy oh boy, I think I might up my hourly rate and go to the pub to celebrate.

     
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  7. A message a day keeps the girls away!

    young brisbane metalcore band marketing 101

    (Source: straightwhiteboystexting)

     
  8. (Source: holybalm, via dumb-head)

     
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  10. tech support continued